No Strings Sex: The Ground Rules

04 Apr 2012

advantage, drama, encounters, ground rules, intent, is it, leads, no strings, play, sex, spouses, strings

After a bit of soul searching you’ve decided that you’re able enter the world of no strings sex; that you can feel good without feeling bad! Where do you go from here? Next step is to lay a few ground rules. After all, casual sex isn’t dating. You’re intention is not a relationship.

1) Enter a no strings encounter with intent; the intent is to feel good and have a good time…NOT to find a spouse. Remember why you are there and don’t change the deal.

2) Keep it a one-time engagement. No digits, no email addresses. Anything past 2 hits you’re entering friends with benefits territory and well, that never works out!

3) If you feel a connection and want to keep the option open for your no strings encounter growing wings, drop a hint that you want to meet again to see where it goes; if they take the ball, run with it. If they let the ball drop, you have your answer. Don’t get bitter and don’t cause drama. Try to remind yourself the intent of the encounter was mutual gratification not wedding bells. Thank your “date” for a great time and move along. Serendipity was a movie, not a flight plan!

4) What if you’ve got it all under control and escape the heat of the moment with your plan to move on intact, but wait, they’re into you. Now what? If you’ve already got one foot out the door and you don’t see a future with your recent conquest, don’t feel guilt and never feed the drama. Think of it as a catch and release program and they will just have to swim on. Thank them for the compliment but make it clear that you’re just not willing to take it to the next level. The “it’s not you, it’s me” routine. This is when you’ll be glad you followed #2!

Can a genuine no strings encounters happen? Definitely! Just be aware that even with the best of intentions feelings can form under such intimate circumstances. Be kind and treat others how you would like to be treated; however, all while making your feelings {or lack thereof} clear. For me the only pure no strings encounters are single act plays! There is no act 2; strictly a one night stand. Anything more, is something more! The next level is a forward to a different play entirely.