It’s one thing to have a missed connection; it’s another to have that missed connection be Nicole Kidman! But when you really think about it, the reason the cringe-worthy interview resonates with each of us isn’t because Jimmy blew his chances with a breathtakingly beautiful woman or even an A-list celebrity, it’s because she’s just a super cool chick; classy, witty, and bright….the whole enchilada!
Although we can laugh off this event as a cute glimpse into celebrity humanity, knowing their futures remained golden; each happily married to other people and remarkably successful careers, we can’t help but feel for Mr. Fallon’s epic fail! Why? Because each of us recalls the moment we missed a step and lost an opportunity! We remember in intimate detail the taste and feel of possibility slipping into oblivion, leaving us wondering, “What if?”
Worse. Feeling. EVER!
Even in our ordinary, brown shag carpet lives cosmic forces present us with prospects. Our actions, not chance, are what transform an opportunity into good fortune; this holds true for career, finance, and most especially love. The problem is that opportunities come in a brief instance; once that moment is lost…it can never be found again. It’s just gone. We rarely regret the things we do, its things we didn’t do when we had the chance we regret. So, let us take a page from Jimmy’s memoir of awkwardness to learn how to seize the moment.
Missed Opportunities and How to Capture Them
Out of My League
You see her across the pool hall and think to yourself, she’s too hot, intelligent, classy, sexy, tall, blah blah blah…She would never be into a guy like me! In reality, you’re most likely right. Why? Because we like men with confidence and if you don’t have enough confidence to talk to her, you proved your point! In truth you don’t know if she would be into a guy like you because you don’t know her! Women are complicated creatures and choose a guy to date on a sliding scale. Handsome looks and a sexy smile will get most men in the door but alone won’t be enough to keep him in the room! Women evaluate the entire package. Even while talking to you women are quickly taking inventory of your traits and realigning priorities. Next time you see a woman you think is out of your league, try walking up to her and saying hello. What’s the worst that can happen? She says, “Thanks, but no thanks.”
Here’s the story of a boy. He likes a girl. Girl likes the boy. They go out on a couple dates. Boy tells friends. Friends tell boy to stop dating her. Why? She’s too young, old, smart, short…whatever. The point is unless your friends are dating her or by dating her it’s causing you emotional or physical harm…why do you give a rats ass? Give it a chance. See where it goes. Your friend’s motivation for telling you to move on could be thinking she’s not good enough for you, too good for you, or even a simple misunderstanding of who the person you’re dating really is. Point is it’s unclear and irrelevant. Sure your friends input and opinions are important, or they wouldn’t be your friends, but don’t give them unilateral veto power over your love life!
Never assume by being friends you can’t be more. It’s true, best advice is to proceed with caution but by all means you must proceed! Communicate how your friendship is your first priority but feel there could be potential for something more. If they feel it too, SCORE! If not, you still have your friendship.
Dirty Tip: If your friend isn’t feeling the love, you must be prepared to drop the romance vibe completely, and remain firmly grounded in the friend zone. It may not be what you had fantasized but at least you gave it a shot!
I can say with almost absolute certainty that you will see the man or woman of your dreams under less than optimal circumstances. Murphy is a shifty bastard that takes great pride in watching us sweat! Don’t allow your gym clothes or bad hair day to interfere with your chance to meet someone. True, your personality will have to be your super power, but hey, you got this. Approach her, talk to him, make conversation and forget about your current fashion statement or the bad lighting. Don’t count yourself out of play before the first pitch.
Even worse are the times when we’re not exactly sure what the hell is going on!
Are we going out as friends? Is this a set us up? Is this a professional mixer or social meet-up?
Assume it’s an opportunity (even if it turns out not to be) by putting your best self forward and listening to what they’re saying. I’m not suggesting men become smarmy PUA’s (pick-up artists) or women giddy flirts but rather to relax in the moment and enjoy their company.
A missed opportunity leaves men thinking, “#&$!^*@” and women thinking, “there’s something wrong with me”. The fellas have it rough since societal expectations dictate they initiate the opportunities, which is no small task and one many women take for granted. Women, on the other hand, must make themselves available for opportunities and occasionally create their own possibilities even though society tells them they shouldn’t.
Name an opportunity you missed. Describe an opportunity you refused to let pass by.