LA people are real about being fake; NorCal people are fake about being real. People in Los Angeles are famous for fake breasts, fake tans and plastic lives; a superficial wonderland where everyone is pretty and nothing is cheap! The highways are filled with new European cars and designer sunglasses. They love their expensive clothes, trendy eateries, and Hollywood stars. Dating in LA requires that you too be a part of the “scene” and to be in the “scene” you must dress, act, and look the part. There is no delusion that the demand is anything different. To compete in any sport, you have to enter the ring with the right equipment and in LA it is all about looks, cars, money, and who you know. People complain that this is a sham; that this plastic fantastic alter-reality is materialistic and sad. But wait…nobody in LA looks all that sad. Actually they look pretty fucking happy! I say that they love this superficial wonderland they created. The people in LA are fully comfortable with their fake! They like it fake. If something is too “real” they’ll make it fake. Fake is their reality and they are real about being fake! The women in LA own their new DD’s. They will brag about their fabulous doctor and how he threw in free Botox while handing you his card. I love that about LA! The men in LA get waxed, tanned and manicured. The men do not expect the women to be well maintained while they look like slobs, they take the next step to doll themselves up. The men in LA dress and smell just as good as the women; pretty. It’s refreshing that fake isn’t gender bias!
In NorCal it is a totally different scene. Even though, Northern California has its share of expensive cars, trendy eateries, and expensive clothes. The people in Northern California assume that they are an elite class; far more sophisticated than their LA counterparts. Up here there is a “cause”, a reason why materialism is necessary. The Silicon Valley culture has created a new fake. This is a culture of hypocrites that pretend to be “real”, down-to-Earth and “green”. Northern California exudes materialistic sophistication through buying organic, putting solar panels on their roof and wearing fleece lined crocks. However; they’re buying organic at Whole Foods, putting solar panels on their 5,000 square foot hillside house and wearing crocks to drive the new Escalade. NorCal people will tell you that they had to buy that 5,000 square foot house for the good schools, drive Escalades because it’s safe and shop at Whole Foods because of their allergies It’s a sham. A society of nutty-crunchy wanna-bees! In LA people own their materialism, their hunger for all things pretty and expensive! The Northern California dating culture is no different; looks aren’t as important but brains are supreme. To compete in the NorCal dating scene it’s not who you know, it’s what you know. What University did you go to? Where did you get your masters? How many languages do you speak? What company do you work for? What corporate office do you hold? For a successful dating experience you must be up to date on the latest indie flicks, versed in politics or economics and dress sexy but not too sexy. Because remember in Northern California, they want you for your mind! Men will pick you up in their Prius but explain over dinner how it’s just a commuter car and that their real car, a V12 AMG, is parked at home.
*Why did he feel the need to tell me this? If you want to be “green”…“be green”, own it!*
Your dinner may even end with a little light conversation of how the economic downturn has forced their company to restructure and reallocate resources, which has stifled the ability to innovate the latest widget. While trying not to look at your breasts. *Sigh*
The people in Northern California are just a materialistic and superficial as the people in LA. NorCal people just justify or rationalize why they buy the shit that they buy, not realizing that shit is shit. Maybe it’s my NorCal peeps attempt at being logical and cerebral about their materialism or maybe it’s just that NorCal doesn’t have the balls to just own their fake like our pretty LA cousins!