In a recent article I posted a stat by the Kinsey Institute that showed married or committed couples actually had more sex than those who are single. But which of the two groups would say they have better sex? When polled I bet the singles would say that even though they have less sex, the sex they have is better than that of their coupled pals. When you’re single and dating, the sex is always new and new can equal exciting, even though the mechanics of your sex is a little vanilla (burgers) as you explore what makes your new partner tick. There is something about the uncharted route, the unknown, that is hot…exciting. The flip side of this burger vs. fillet mignon story is that the actual sex being had by couples is probably better (fillet mignon) , at least when it comes to mechanics. It’s just not “new”. Even fillet mignon would get boring every night. You put other factors into account like being pent up and no preconceived notions about whom and what you are; you’ve got a license to thrill.
I agree with most sex therapists, that an emotional connection can make sex better; however, emotions can also be a mood killer. When dating you tend to put your best face forward. Even if you had a crappy day at work, you can go on a date that night and forget your woes. When you are in a relationship you are more real and honest about how you feel. This is a good thing in the long run but can affect your sex life. Thoughts of work, kids, bills, annoying quirks of your partner can turn an otherwise romantic rendezvous between the sheets into a snooze fest. Reality and emotional honesty help with intimacy but not necessarily with sex. The fact is that relationship sex gets routine, no matter how elaborate or erotic it is. Even if you’re hanging from a strip pole upside down while wearing a leather bustier, after your second climb it’s lost its WOW factor. Now, as for me, I would rather eat fillet mignon everyday than go out for a quick burger. But after thinking about it thoroughly, I guess I can say that I understand why many couples opt for alternate lifestyles, affairs and “risky” sex-capades.
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